Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes closest to Wager Bay, Nunavut. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photographs, I 've a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely function to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes in Wager Bay Nunavut, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Thom Bay Nunavut. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Wager Bay cheap prostitutes. Now, that is totally great - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I am certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Way too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be pleasant and not seem impolite, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Wager Bay, Nunavut cheap prostitutes. I've seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I regularly go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a few of these guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes closest to Wager Bay, Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you are merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Whale Cove Nunavut. Simply to check I wrote to fairly mature women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not answer. Simply do not understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Wager Bay, Nunavut Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them actually say what they offer a man. Typically, it is a list of demands and preferences. This is not great advertising. A woman must be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he needs?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's all about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we mature guys, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, many people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can often act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that most folks just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this website, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Wager Bay, Nunavut cheap prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near Wager Bay. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I guess I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe it's a combo of my style, a kind of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Wager Bay Nunavut cheap prostitutes. I don't know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Wager Bay Nunavut Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes nearby Wager Bay. Note how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!