Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Change Islands Newfoundland And Labrador. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is really important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to handle way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just function to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes closest to Change Islands Newfoundland And Labrador Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Chance Cove Newfoundland And Labrador. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with far too much cleavage. Change Islands cheap prostitutes. Now, that is completely excellent - I have no problem at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor pictures and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mostly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be fine and not appear impolite, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she simply couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Change Islands Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. I have detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes near Change Islands, Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line sites: you are just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful company, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Channel-Port Aux Basques Newfoundland And Labrador. Just to check I wrote to quite older women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't respond. Simply don't understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Change Islands, Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them really state what they offer a guy. Generally, it is a record of demands and preferences. This really isn't great marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he needs?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we elderly men, like some mature women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often act the same manner, merely wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is that most people only blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular blog, I also was only able to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Change Islands Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Change Islands. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I imagine I am one of the fortunate ones, but I think it's a combo of my style, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty honestly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Change Islands Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. I don't know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Change Islands, Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of the pot of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Change Islands. Notice how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!