Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap prostitutes near me Herronton, Alberta. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge gripe among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is really significant. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must cope with far too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely serve to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes closest to Herronton Alberta Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Hermit Lake Alberta. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Herronton cheap prostitutes. Now, that is totally fine - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamor shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Herronton, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (typically 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed some of those men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap Prostitutes in Herronton, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online sites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful firm, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Hesketh Alberta. Simply to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Tried all types of images. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not respond. Just do not recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger men approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Herronton, Alberta cheap prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually state what they provide a guy. Normally, it is a record of demands and preferences. This really is not good marketing. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I provide a man he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we old men, like some mature women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, lots of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can assemble much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from inferior matches they become exasperated and start to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave exactly the same way, only wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that most people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this website, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Herronton, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearest Herronton. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it is a combo of my character, a kind of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Herronton Alberta cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am okay with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Herronton, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes nearby Herronton. Notice how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!