Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts closest to Munns Road Prince Edward Island. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge gripe among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet pictures, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to manage far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only serve to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage Escorts closest to Munns Road Prince Edward Island Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Muddy Creek Prince Edward Island. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a good guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Munns Road Backpage Escorts. Now, that is completely great - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Munns Road Prince Edward Island backpage escorts. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I regularly go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed some of those guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage escorts closest to Munns Road Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line sites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no real dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Murray Harbour Prince Edward Island. Just to check I wrote to rather mature women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they don't respond. Just don't comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is just that all the younger men approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Munns Road, Prince Edward Island Backpage Escorts. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they provide a man. Usually, it is a list of demands and preferences. This is not great marketing. A lady should be able to answer the question What do I offer a man he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it is about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we old guys, like some old women attract the opposite sex. Sadly, lots of people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can often behave exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that many folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular website, I also was just competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Munns Road Prince Edward Island backpage escorts. Backpage Escorts closest to Munns Road. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I guess I am one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my character, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a issue honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Munns Road, Prince Edward Island Backpage Escorts. I really don't know....Am ok with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Munns Road, Prince Edward Island Backpage Escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) guys in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts near Munns Road. Note how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!