Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes near me Burgis Saskatchewan. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge gripe among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must handle way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just function to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Burgis Saskatchewan Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Bures Saskatchewan. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a good guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Burgis Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's totally excellent - I don't have any trouble at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour pictures and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be fine and not seem impolite, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Burgis, Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (typically 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of those men, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Burgis, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college love or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of on-line websites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Burgis Beach Saskatchewan. Simply to check I wrote to rather mature women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Tried all sorts of images. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not answer. Just don't recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger guys approaching older women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only show interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Burgis, Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them really say what they offer a man. Generally, it's a list of demands and choices. This isn't good marketing. A female should be able to answer the question What do I offer a guy he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we mature men, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Regrettably, a lot of people do not attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly men can frequently act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that many folks just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular site, I also was just capable to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Burgis, Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes in Burgis. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I imagine I am one of the blessed ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a difficulty honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Burgis Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Burgis, Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) men in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes nearest Burgis. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!