Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap prostitutes near Summerfield, Prince Edward Island. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I have a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must cope with much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just serve to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes in Summerfield Prince Edward Island, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photos. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Suffolk Prince Edward Island. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a good guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with far too much cleavage. Summerfield cheap prostitutes. Now, that's completely excellent - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor pictures and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not appear rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Summerfield, Prince Edward Island cheap prostitutes. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (normally 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes in Summerfield, Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online websites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful business, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Summerside Prince Edward Island. Simply to check I wrote to rather old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not answer. Simply don't recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It is just that all the younger men approaching elderly women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply show interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Summerfield Prince Edward Island Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually say what they provide a man. Normally, it's a listing of demands and preferences. This is not good advertising. A woman must be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we old guys, like some older women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, many people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can collect much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to set boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can frequently behave the same style, just wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that most folks simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this site, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Summerfield Prince Edward Island cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearest Summerfield. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I guess I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my style, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Summerfield Prince Edward Island Cheap Prostitutes. I really don't know....Am fine with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Summerfield Prince Edward Island cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes near me Summerfield. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!