Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Winisk, Ontario. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge gripe among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is really important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already must deal with much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only function to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes closest to Winisk Ontario, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Wingham Ontario. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Winisk Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is completely excellent - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am sure many guys don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not appear impolite, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Winisk Ontario cheap prostitutes. I have detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes near me Winisk Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of on-line websites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Woburn Ontario. Merely to check I wrote to rather old women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Attempted all kinds of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not respond. Simply do not realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger men approaching elderly women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply show interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Winisk, Ontario cheap prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them really state what they provide a man. Usually, it is a record of demands and choices. This really isn't good marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it is all about a cynical cash grab, I have to inform you we old men, like some old women entice the opposite sex. Regrettably, a lot of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can collect much about a lady from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave the same manner, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that most folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this blog, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Winisk, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Winisk. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I suppose I'm one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my character, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Winisk Ontario cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Winisk Ontario Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) men in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation devised theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near Winisk. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!