Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes nearest St.-Charles Ontario. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge gripe among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must manage much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely function to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes near St.-Charles Ontario, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me St. Thomas Ontario. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. St.-Charles cheap prostitutes. Now, that is completely fine - I have no issue at all with this, and I am certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be fine and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. St.-Charles, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I regularly move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a number of those men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes near St.-Charles Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online websites: you are just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Stamford Ontario. Just to check I wrote to rather elderly women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Tried all sorts of pictures. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they do not respond. Simply do not understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger guys approaching senior women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. St.-Charles Ontario cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them actually say what they provide a guy. Usually, itis a listing of demands and choices. This really is not great advertising. A woman must have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a man he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we mature men, like some mature women attract the opposite sex. Sadly, lots of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can assemble much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can often act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that most folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only able to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. St.-Charles, Ontario cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes near me St.-Charles. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I guess I am one of the blessed ones, but I think it is a combo of my personality, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. St.-Charles, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am fine with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. St.-Charles, Ontario cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) men in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes near St.-Charles. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!