Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes near Port Severn, Ontario. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous gripe among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to manage far too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to bolster them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes nearest Port Severn Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Port Perry Ontario. The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Port Severn cheap prostitutes. Now, that is absolutely wonderful - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mostly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be nice and not seem rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she simply couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Port Severn, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (generally 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of those men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Port Severn, Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online sites: you are simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Port Stanley Ontario. Simply to check I wrote to quite elderly women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they don't answer. Simply do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an elderly man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger men approaching mature women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Port Severn, Ontario cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them actually say what they offer a guy. Generally, itis a list of demands and choices. This really is not good marketing. A female should be able to answer the question What do I offer a man that he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we mature men, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can collect much about a female from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can frequently behave the same way, just wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that many people only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this site, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Port Severn Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes near Port Severn. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it's a combo of my character, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Port Severn, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Port Severn, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes near me Port Severn. Note how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!