Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes near me Monteagle, Ontario. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet pictures, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must handle far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes near Monteagle Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Mono Road Ontario. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Monteagle cheap prostitutes. Now, that is absolutely excellent - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour pictures and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Monteagle Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (usually 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes in Monteagle Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online websites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Monteagle Valley Ontario. Simply to check I wrote to rather older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every girl. Tried all sorts of images. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they don't answer. Simply do not realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger men approaching old women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Monteagle, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them actually state what they offer a man. Typically, it is a record of demands and preferences. This isn't great advertising. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he wants?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it is all about a cynical money grab, I must tell you we mature men, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, many do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can frequently act exactly the same manner, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that many folks merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this website, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Monteagle Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes in Monteagle. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I imagine I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it is a combo of my style, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Monteagle Ontario cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Monteagle, Ontario cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes nearby Monteagle. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!