Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Downtown Toronto, Ontario. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is really significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to manage much too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just function to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes nearby Downtown Toronto Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Downsview Ontario. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want an excellent man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Downtown Toronto cheap prostitutes. Now, that is totally fine - I don't have any trouble at all with this, and I am certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor pictures and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I am sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not appear impolite, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Downtown Toronto Ontario cheap prostitutes. I've noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I frequently move past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of these guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes nearby Downtown Toronto, Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line websites: you're simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Drefal Ontario. Merely to check I wrote to quite mature women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all sorts of pictures. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not respond. Just do not recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Downtown Toronto Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them really say what they offer a man. Generally, itis a listing of demands and choices. This is not good marketing. A female should be able to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's about a cynical money grab, I must inform you we mature guys, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, lots of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave exactly the same style, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that most people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Downtown Toronto, Ontario cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearby Downtown Toronto. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I guess I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my personality, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Downtown Toronto, Ontario cheap prostitutes. I do not know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Downtown Toronto, Ontario cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near me Downtown Toronto. Note how he follows up with this small gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!