Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes nearby Digby, Nova Scotia. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous gripe among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I 've a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already must manage much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only function to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Digby Nova Scotia, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Devon Nova Scotia. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Digby Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is totally excellent - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour pictures and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included chiefly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not seem ill-mannered, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Digby, Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (typically 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes nearest Digby, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of online sites: you are just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am really active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Dingwall Nova Scotia. Just to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every woman. Tried all sorts of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they don't respond. Simply don't understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's just that all the younger men approaching senior women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They only show interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Digby, Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them really state what they offer a guy. Usually, itis a listing of demands and preferences. This really isn't great advertising. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a much younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we mature men, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature girl will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can frequently behave the same style, only wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is that many people only blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this website, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Digby Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearby Digby. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I figure I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I think that it's a combo of my style, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Digby Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Digby Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes near me Digby. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!