Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap prostitutes nearby Wanipigow West, Manitoba. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I have a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes in Wanipigow West Manitoba, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Wanipigow East Manitoba. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a quality guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Wanipigow West cheap prostitutes. Now, that is absolutely excellent - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamor pictures and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be nice and not appear ill-mannered, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Wanipigow West, Manitoba cheap prostitutes. I've discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (normally 35-50) I frequently go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a few of those men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes in Wanipigow West Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of online sites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Wapawsik Manitoba. Just to check I wrote to quite mature women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all types of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not respond. Just don't realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger men approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They only show interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Wanipigow West Manitoba cheap prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them actually say what they provide a guy. Typically, it's a listing of demands and choices. This really isn't good advertising. A female should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we elderly guys, like some elderly women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many do not attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can frequently act the same manner, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is that many people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only capable to date younger (my normal taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Wanipigow West, Manitoba cheap prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me Wanipigow West. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Wanipigow West, Manitoba cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am ok with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Wanipigow West, Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes nearest Wanipigow West. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!