Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes near me Bliss Landing, British Columbia. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must manage way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just serve to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Bliss Landing British Columbia Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Blind Channel British Columbia. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Bliss Landing Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely fine - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I'm sure many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour pictures and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Way too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be fine and not seem ill-mannered, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Bliss Landing, British Columbia cheap prostitutes. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (generally 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes closest to Bliss Landing, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online websites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Bloedel British Columbia. Merely to check I wrote to rather older women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Attempted all types of images. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not answer. Simply don't recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's just that all the younger men approaching mature women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Bliss Landing, British Columbia cheap prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they offer a guy. Normally, itis a record of demands and preferences. This is not good marketing. A lady should be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we old guys, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can often act exactly the same style, only wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that most folks merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this site, I also was just competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Bliss Landing British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes in Bliss Landing. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I suppose I am one of the fortunate ones, but I believe it's a combo of my character, a form of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty honestly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Bliss Landing, British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Bliss Landing British Columbia cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely light and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) men in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Bliss Landing. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!