Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes nearest Little Gem, Alberta. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photos, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to handle much too many negative stereotypes, and the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only serve to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes in Little Gem Alberta, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Little Fishery Alberta. The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Little Gem Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely great - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm sure many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamor shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a website for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be fine and not appear rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Little Gem Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I've discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (normally 35-50) I regularly go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a number of these guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes near Little Gem, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online websites: you're merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Little Red River Alberta. Simply to check I wrote to rather elderly women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not respond. Simply don't realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It is only that all the younger guys approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Little Gem Alberta cheap prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them actually state what they offer a man. Normally, it's a list of demands and preferences. This really is not great marketing. A female should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is all about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we elderly guys, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, lots of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from inferior matches they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can often behave the same way, just wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that most folks simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Little Gem, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearest Little Gem. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the fortunate ones, but I believe it's a combo of my personality, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a issue frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Little Gem, Alberta cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am fine with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Little Gem Alberta cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes closest to Little Gem. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!