Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts nearby Faro, Yukon. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I got a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to manage much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just serve to reinforce them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Backpage Escorts nearby Faro Yukon, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do believe it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Elsa Yukon. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Faro backpage escorts. Now, that is absolutely great - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Much too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Faro Yukon Backpage Escorts. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (normally 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Backpage Escorts nearby Faro, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line sites: you're merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Flat Creek Yukon. Simply to check I wrote to rather old women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Tried all kinds of images. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not answer. Simply don't comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger men approaching mature women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Faro, Yukon backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them really say what they provide a guy. Usually, it's a list of demands and choices. This isn't great marketing. A female must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's about a cynical cash grab, I need to inform you we old men, like some elderly women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can collect much about a female from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will comprehend that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can often behave the same manner, only wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that many folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this site, I also was just competent to date younger (my usual preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Faro Yukon Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts in Faro. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I suppose I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I believe it is a combo of my style, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a problem honestly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Faro, Yukon backpage escorts. I actually don't know....Am ok with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Faro, Yukon backpage escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely light and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage escorts in Faro. Notice how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!