Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts closest to Wickham Quebec. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge gripe among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is really significant. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to cope with way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just serve to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Backpage Escorts near Wickham Quebec Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Whapmagoostui Quebec. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with way too much cleavage. Wickham backpage escorts. Now, that is completely wonderful - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor photos and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be fine and not appear impolite, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Wickham, Quebec Backpage Escorts. I've noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (typically 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage Escorts nearby Wickham, Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online websites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Windsor Quebec. Merely to check I wrote to rather older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every girl. Tried all sorts of images. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not respond. Just do not understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger men approaching mature women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Wickham Quebec backpage escorts. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them really say what they provide a guy. Usually, it is a list of demands and choices. This is not good advertising. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is about a cynical cash grab, I must inform you we older guys, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently behave the same way, just wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that many people just blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this website, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Wickham, Quebec backpage escorts. Backpage escorts nearest Wickham. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I suppose I am one of the fortunate ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my style, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Wickham Quebec backpage escorts. I actually don't know....Am fine with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Wickham, Quebec Backpage Escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) men in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts near Wickham. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!