Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts near Wyse Ontario. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge gripe among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to cope with much too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just function to reinforce them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage Escorts in Wyse Ontario, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Wyoming Ontario. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a good guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Wyse backpage escorts. Now, that is totally wonderful - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour pictures and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Much too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be fine and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Wyse, Ontario backpage escorts. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (generally 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of those men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Backpage escorts near me Wyse Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you're just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Yankee Bonnet Ontario. Just to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not answer. Simply do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger men approaching mature women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only show interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Wyse, Ontario backpage escorts. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually state what they provide a man. Typically, itis a record of demands and choices. This is not great advertising. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a man he needs?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is all about a cynical money grab, I must inform you we older guys, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will comprehend that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can frequently act the same style, only wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that many people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular site, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Wyse, Ontario Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts near me Wyse. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I think it's a combo of my personality, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Wyse Ontario backpage escorts. I really don't know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Wyse Ontario Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular declaration) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage Escorts in Wyse. Note how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!