Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts near Priory Park, Ontario. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is really important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to deal with way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only function to fortify them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts in Priory Park Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Princess Margaret Gardens Ontario. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with far too much cleavage. Priory Park backpage escorts. Now, that is completely great - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am sure many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Priory Park Ontario Backpage Escorts. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (usually 35-50) I frequently go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage escorts in Priory Park, Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of on-line sites: you are merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful company, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Pukaskwa Depot Ontario. Merely to check I wrote to rather elderly women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not answer. Just don't recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger men approaching elderly women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Priory Park Ontario backpage escorts. However there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them actually state what they offer a guy. Generally, it's a record of demands and choices. This is not good marketing. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we mature guys, like some old women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can assemble much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can frequently behave the same way, only wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that most people merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this website, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Priory Park Ontario Backpage Escorts. Backpage Escorts nearby Priory Park. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I believe it's a combo of my style, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a difficulty frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Priory Park, Ontario Backpage Escorts. I do not know....Am ok with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Priory Park Ontario backpage escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage escorts nearest Priory Park. Note how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!