Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Sparwood British Columbia. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I got a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must deal with far too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely function to reinforce them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes near me Sparwood British Columbia, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Southbank British Columbia. The thing is, there really is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Sparwood cheap prostitutes. Now, that is absolutely excellent - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Sparwood British Columbia cheap prostitutes. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (typically 35-50) I frequently go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Sparwood, Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college love or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online sites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Spatsum British Columbia. Simply to check I wrote to fairly mature women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all sorts of graphics. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they don't respond. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger guys approaching older women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Sparwood British Columbia cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them actually say what they offer a guy. Normally, it's a record of demands and choices. This really is not great advertising. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a guy he wants?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is all about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we elderly men, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from poor matches they become exasperated and start to establish bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature girl will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can often behave the same style, just wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that many folks merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Sparwood, British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me Sparwood. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my character, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Sparwood British Columbia cheap prostitutes. I do not know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Sparwood, British Columbia cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Sparwood. Notice how he follows up with this little gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!