Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes in Parkland, British Columbia. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge gripe among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photos, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is really significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to manage far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes in Parkland British Columbia Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Paradise Valley British Columbia. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Parkland cheap prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely fine - I don't have any trouble at all with this, and I'm sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be pleasant and not seem ill-mannered, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Parkland, British Columbia cheap prostitutes. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (normally 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes near Parkland, Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful firm, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am quite busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Parksville British Columbia. Just to check I wrote to fairly mature women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Attempted all sorts of pictures. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not respond. Just don't comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's merely that all the younger men approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They simply show interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Parkland, British Columbia cheap prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them really state what they provide a guy. Typically, it is a list of demands and choices. This isn't good marketing. A female should be able to answer the question What do I provide a man he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is all about a cynical cash grab, I have to inform you we mature men, like some elderly women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, lots of people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can assemble much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from inferior matches they become exasperated and begin to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can frequently act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that most people only blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this blog, I also was just competent to date younger (my usual preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Parkland British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearby Parkland. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I think it is a combo of my style, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Parkland, British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. I don't know....Am ok with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Parkland, British Columbia cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Parkland. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!