Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Elk Prairie, British Columbia. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet pictures, I got a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, and the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just serve to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Elk Prairie British Columbia, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Elk Bay British Columbia. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Elk Prairie cheap prostitutes. Now, that's certainly great - I have no issue at all with this, and I am certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamor pictures and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are included chiefly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Much too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be pleasant and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Elk Prairie British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (generally 35-50) I regularly go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a number of those guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes near me Elk Prairie Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online websites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Elkford British Columbia. Just to check I wrote to quite older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they do not answer. Just don't realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is just that all the younger men approaching senior women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Elk Prairie British Columbia cheap prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them actually state what they offer a man. Generally, itis a record of demands and choices. This really isn't good advertising. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's all about a cynical cash grab, I must tell you we old guys, like some old women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can assemble much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can often act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that many people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular blog, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Elk Prairie British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Elk Prairie. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my character, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a problem frankly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Elk Prairie British Columbia cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Elk Prairie, British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) guys in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes near me Elk Prairie. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!