Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap prostitutes in Champagne, Yukon. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous criticism among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is really significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only serve to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes in Champagne Yukon Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Carmacks Yukon. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Champagne cheap prostitutes. Now, that's totally excellent - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I'm sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not appear rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Champagne, Yukon cheap prostitutes. I've discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men desire, (normally 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a few of those guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes nearest Champagne Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of on-line websites: you are simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no real dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Clear Creek Yukon. Just to check I wrote to rather older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Tried all sorts of pictures. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they don't answer. Just do not understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply show interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Champagne Yukon Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them actually say what they provide a man. Usually, itis a record of demands and choices. This really is not great advertising. A female should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a man he needs?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we elderly men, like some older women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, many do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can collect much about a female from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can frequently behave the same style, only wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that most people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular blog, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Champagne Yukon cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearest Champagne. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I think it's a combo of my personality, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Champagne, Yukon Cheap Prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am fine with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Champagne Yukon Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes near Champagne. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!