Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap prostitutes in Tako Saskatchewan. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photos, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is really important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just serve to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes near Tako Saskatchewan Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Tadmore Saskatchewan. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Tako Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is completely wonderful - I have no trouble at all with this, and I'm sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Tako Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I regularly go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes near me Tako, Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online sites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Tallman Saskatchewan. Just to check I wrote to rather old women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all sorts of images. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they don't answer. Simply don't realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger men approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Tako, Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they provide a man. Normally, it is a list of demands and choices. This really is not good advertising. A lady must be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is about a cynical money grab, I must tell you we elderly guys, like some older women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can collect much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to establish boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently behave the same style, just wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that many people merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only able to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Tako Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearby Tako. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I suppose I am one of the blessed ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Tako Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. I don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Tako Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes near me Tako. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!