Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes nearest Riverhurst, Saskatchewan. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is so significant. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to deal with way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to reinforce them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes nearby Riverhurst Saskatchewan, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Ridgedale Saskatchewan. The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Riverhurst cheap prostitutes. Now, that's certainly fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included chiefly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be pleasant and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she simply couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Riverhurst Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (generally 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes in Riverhurst, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online websites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Roadene Saskatchewan. Simply to check I wrote to quite older women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Attempted all kinds of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not answer. Simply do not realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's just that all the younger men approaching mature women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Riverhurst, Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them really state what they provide a man. Usually, it's a record of demands and preferences. This really is not great marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a guy he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's all about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we elderly men, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, many people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from inferior matches they become exasperated and begin to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave the same manner, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that many people only blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this website, I also was only capable to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Riverhurst Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me Riverhurst. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the fortunate ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my character, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Riverhurst Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am fine with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Riverhurst, Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) men in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near me Riverhurst. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!