Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Neidpath Saskatchewan. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous gripe among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photographs, I 've a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is really significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must manage far too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely function to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes near Neidpath Saskatchewan Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Neelby Saskatchewan. The matter is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Neidpath Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely wonderful - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour shots and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be pleasant and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Neidpath Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I frequently go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Neidpath Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of on-line sites: you are only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Neilburg Saskatchewan. Just to check I wrote to fairly older women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Attempted all kinds of images. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not answer. Simply don't understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger men approaching old women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Neidpath, Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them really say what they provide a guy. Generally, it is a listing of demands and preferences. This really is not great marketing. A lady must be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is all about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we mature men, like some old women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can assemble much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often behave exactly the same manner, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that many folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this blog, I also was just competent to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Neidpath Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me Neidpath. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I am one of the blessed ones, but I think it is a combo of my character, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Neidpath, Saskatchewan cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Neidpath Saskatchewan Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes in Neidpath. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!