Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes nearby Waltham, Quebec. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I have a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to manage far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photographs because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes in Waltham Quebec, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Wakefield Quebec. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a good guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Waltham cheap prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be fine and not appear impolite, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Waltham Quebec cheap prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes closest to Waltham, Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line websites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Warden Quebec. Just to check I wrote to rather old women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Attempted all sorts of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't answer. Simply do not realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's just that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They just show interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Waltham Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them actually say what they provide a guy. Normally, it is a list of demands and preferences. This isn't great marketing. A lady must be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he needs?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't great with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's all about a cynical cash grab, I must tell you we old men, like some old women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a female from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from poor matches they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can often behave the same manner, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that many people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular site, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Waltham, Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me Waltham. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I imagine I am one of the fortunate ones, but I believe it's a combo of my style, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Waltham Quebec cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Waltham Quebec cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes in Waltham. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!