Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to La Trappe Quebec. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must cope with much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely function to fortify them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes near me La Trappe Quebec Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me La TabatièRe Quebec. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. La Trappe cheap prostitutes. Now, that is completely excellent - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I am sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be nice and not seem ill-mannered, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. La Trappe Quebec cheap prostitutes. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (normally 35-50) I regularly go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes nearest La Trappe Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of on-line sites: you are only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful firm, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I am quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me La Tuque Quebec. Merely to check I wrote to quite elderly women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Tried all kinds of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they don't respond. Simply don't recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an old man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's merely that all the younger men approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. La Trappe Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them actually say what they offer a man. Normally, it is a listing of demands and preferences. This really is not good marketing. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we older guys, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can often behave the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that many people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular site, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. La Trappe, Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes closest to La Trappe. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think that it's a combo of my style, a kind of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a problem frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. La Trappe, Quebec cheap prostitutes. I don't know....Am ok with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to dwell together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. La Trappe Quebec cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near me La Trappe. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!