Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Chandler Quebec. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous gripe among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I 've a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely serve to fortify them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes nearby Chandler Quebec, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Champneuf Quebec. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Chandler cheap prostitutes. Now, that's completely great - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour photos and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be nice and not appear rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Chandler Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (normally 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of those guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes near Chandler, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college love or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online sites: you are simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Chapais Quebec. Merely to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they don't answer. Simply do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Chandler, Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them really state what they provide a guy. Typically, it is a list of demands and choices. This is not great marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man that he desires?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we older guys, like some old women bring the opposite sex. Sadly, many do not attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will comprehend that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often behave exactly the same style, just wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that most people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Chandler, Quebec cheap prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Chandler. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I suppose I'm one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my personality, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Chandler, Quebec Cheap Prostitutes. I really don't know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Chandler, Quebec cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) guys in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes nearby Chandler. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!