Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Eastern Kings Prince Edward Island. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is really significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I love Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes near Eastern Kings Prince Edward Island Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me East Wiltshire Prince Edward Island. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Eastern Kings cheap prostitutes. Now, that is certainly wonderful - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I'm certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Eastern Kings Prince Edward Island cheap prostitutes. I've discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I frequently move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of those men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes in Eastern Kings Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built-in folly of on-line websites: you're merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Ebenezer Prince Edward Island. Simply to check I wrote to rather elderly women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not answer. Just don't realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger men approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Eastern Kings, Prince Edward Island cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them actually state what they provide a guy. Usually, it's a record of demands and choices. This really isn't good marketing. A female must be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's all about a cynical cash grab, I have to inform you we elderly guys, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can collect much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can frequently behave the same style, only wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that many folks just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this blog, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Eastern Kings, Prince Edward Island Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Eastern Kings. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I guess I am one of the lucky ones, but I think it's a combo of my personality, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a difficulty honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Eastern Kings Prince Edward Island Cheap Prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Eastern Kings Prince Edward Island cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Eastern Kings. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!