Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Lambton Mills Ontario. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must deal with much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes near me Lambton Mills Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Lambs Corners Ontario. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Lambton Mills Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's totally fine - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor pictures and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mainly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Far too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be fine and not appear rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Lambton Mills, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I regularly move past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes nearest Lambton Mills, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line websites: you are merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful firm, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Lambton Shores Ontario. Just to check I wrote to fairly older women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Simply do not recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's just that all the younger men approaching old women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They simply show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Lambton Mills, Ontario cheap prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really say what they provide a guy. Generally, itis a list of demands and preferences. This really isn't good marketing. A female must be able to answer the question What do I offer a man he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it is about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we older guys, like some elderly women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, lots of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will comprehend that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often behave exactly the same way, only wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that many folks merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this blog, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Lambton Mills, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes closest to Lambton Mills. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a issue honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Lambton Mills, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Lambton Mills, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) men in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes closest to Lambton Mills. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!