Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap Prostitutes near me Burketon Station, Ontario. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I 've a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must deal with far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only function to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes near me Burketon Station Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Bummers Roost Ontario. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Burketon Station Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is totally wonderful - I have no trouble at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor photos and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be fine and not appear rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Burketon Station, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I've seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men desire, (normally 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a few of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes in Burketon Station Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school love or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online websites: you're just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Burks Falls Ontario. Simply to check I wrote to fairly old women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they don't answer. Just don't recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is just that all the younger guys approaching mature women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only show interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Burketon Station, Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them really say what they provide a man. Normally, it's a list of demands and preferences. This isn't great marketing. A female must be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we older men, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, lots of people do not attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can often behave the same manner, just wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that many people merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular blog, I also was just capable to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Burketon Station Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes near Burketon Station. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it's a combo of my character, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Burketon Station Ontario Cheap Prostitutes. I really don't know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to dwell together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Burketon Station Ontario Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Burketon Station. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!