Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes near Roseland Nova Scotia. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I 've a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so important. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to cope with way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only serve to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Roseland Nova Scotia Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Rosedale Nova Scotia. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Roseland cheap prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely great - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a site for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Roseland, Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (usually 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes closest to Roseland, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online sites: you are just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Roseway Nova Scotia. Just to check I wrote to rather elderly women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every girl. Attempted all kinds of graphics. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't answer. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is only that all the younger men approaching senior women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Roseland Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them really state what they provide a guy. Normally, it is a list of demands and choices. This is not good advertising. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man that he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is about a cynical money grab, I must inform you we older guys, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, a lot of people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can assemble much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often act the same style, only wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that many folks just blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular blog, I also was just able to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Roseland, Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes closest to Roseland. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I imagine I am one of the blessed ones, but I think that it's a combo of my personality, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a problem frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Roseland, Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Roseland Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes in Roseland. Note how he follows up with this small gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!