Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes nearest Louisbourg Road, Nova Scotia. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet pictures, I got a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to manage way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only function to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes near Louisbourg Road Nova Scotia, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Louisbourg Nova Scotia. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want an excellent guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Louisbourg Road Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is absolutely excellent - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am sure many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor pictures and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Louisbourg Road Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes. I have detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (generally 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. Cheap Prostitutes near me Louisbourg Road, Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online sites: you are just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Low Landing Nova Scotia. Merely to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all types of images. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not answer. Just do not realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an elderly man and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's merely that all the younger men approaching senior women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Louisbourg Road Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually say what they provide a man. Normally, itis a listing of demands and preferences. This really isn't great advertising. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a man he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's all about a cynical cash grab, I need to tell you we mature men, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, many do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can collect much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can often behave the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is that most folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this website, I also was only able to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Louisbourg Road, Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes closest to Louisbourg Road. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I'm one of the lucky ones, but I believe it's a combo of my personality, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Louisbourg Road, Nova Scotia Cheap Prostitutes. I really don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Louisbourg Road Nova Scotia cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The writers of this pot of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes nearest Louisbourg Road. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!