Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes near me Discovery, Northwest Territories. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I 've a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must manage much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just serve to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes nearby Discovery Northwest Territories, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Deline Northwest Territories. The matter is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Discovery Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is certainly excellent - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be pleasant and not appear impolite, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Discovery, Northwest Territories cheap prostitutes. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Discovery Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you are just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Echo Bay Northwest Territories. Merely to check I wrote to fairly older women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't respond. Simply do not recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is only that all the younger men approaching elderly women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Discovery Northwest Territories Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically none of them really state what they provide a man. Normally, it's a record of demands and choices. This really isn't good advertising. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's all about a cynical cash grab, I need to tell you we mature guys, like some old women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches they become exasperated and start to set boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave exactly the same manner, just wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is that most people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was only capable to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Discovery Northwest Territories cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearest Discovery. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I guess I'm one of the blessed ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my style, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Discovery Northwest Territories Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Discovery, Northwest Territories cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes near Discovery. Note how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer men have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!