Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap prostitutes closest to Robert Newfoundland And Labrador. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to handle much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes near me Robert Newfoundland And Labrador, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Riverhead Newfoundland And Labrador. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Robert cheap prostitutes. Now, that's completely excellent - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I am certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not seem impolite, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she just couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Robert, Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. I've noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (generally 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of those guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap prostitutes nearby Robert Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line sites: you are only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm really active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no real dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Roberts Arm Newfoundland And Labrador. Merely to check I wrote to fairly mature women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Attempted all sorts of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Just don't realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's merely that all the younger men approaching elderly women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Robert, Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them really state what they offer a man. Normally, it is a listing of demands and preferences. This isn't great marketing. A female should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man that he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's about a cynical cash grab, I need to inform you we elderly guys, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature girl will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can often act the same way, just wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that most people simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular website, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Robert Newfoundland And Labrador Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearby Robert. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I'm one of the blessed ones, but I believe it's a combo of my character, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Robert, Newfoundland And Labrador Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am fine with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Robert Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes in Robert. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!