Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap prostitutes in Joyce, Newfoundland And Labrador. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just function to fortify them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Joyce Newfoundland And Labrador, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Joe Batts Arm-Barrd Islands-Shoal Bay Newfoundland And Labrador. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Joyce Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely fine - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mostly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Joyce Newfoundland And Labrador Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (usually 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a few of those men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes nearest Joyce Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of on-line websites: you're only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Jumpers Brook Newfoundland And Labrador. Just to check I wrote to fairly older women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all kinds of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't respond. Simply do not understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger guys approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They only show interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Joyce Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them actually say what they provide a guy. Typically, it is a record of demands and choices. This isn't good advertising. A female must have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a man that he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we old guys, like some older women entice the opposite sex. Regrettably, a lot of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can gather much about a female from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature girl will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can often act exactly the same style, merely wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is that many folks merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this blog, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Joyce Newfoundland And Labrador Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me Joyce. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the fortunate ones, but I think it's a combo of my style, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Joyce, Newfoundland And Labrador Cheap Prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Joyce Newfoundland And Labrador cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) guys in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes nearest Joyce. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!