Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes near me North Devon, New Brunswick. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to deal with much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Cheap prostitutes nearest North Devon New Brunswick, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Newcastle Bridge New Brunswick. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. North Devon Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's absolutely excellent - I don't have any trouble at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a site for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be fine and not seem rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. North Devon, New Brunswick cheap prostitutes. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes in North Devon Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you're only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me North Head New Brunswick. Just to check I wrote to rather mature women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every woman. Attempted all types of images. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not answer. Simply don't understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching old women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. North Devon, New Brunswick cheap prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them really say what they provide a man. Normally, it's a record of demands and choices. This really isn't good marketing. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I offer a man he wants?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's all about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we elderly men, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Regrettably, a lot of people do not attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can collect much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently behave exactly the same style, just wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is the fact that many people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this website, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. North Devon New Brunswick cheap prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near me North Devon. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear advantage. I suppose I am one of the blessed ones, but I think it is a combo of my personality, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. North Devon, New Brunswick cheap prostitutes. I don't know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to dwell together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. North Devon, New Brunswick cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near me North Devon. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!