Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Lobbville Manitoba. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet pictures, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to manage far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Cheap Prostitutes in Lobbville Manitoba Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Little Ridge Manitoba. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Lobbville cheap prostitutes. Now, that's totally excellent - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour pictures and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be fine and not appear impolite, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Lobbville, Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (generally 35-50) I regularly go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed some of those guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes near Lobbville, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line sites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful business, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Lone Spruce Manitoba. Just to check I wrote to fairly older women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't respond. Just don't recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger guys approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Lobbville Manitoba cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically none of them actually say what they offer a guy. Typically, itis a record of demands and preferences. This really isn't good advertising. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's about a cynical money grab, I have to inform you we older guys, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many do not bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from poor matches they become exasperated and start to establish boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can often behave exactly the same style, merely wanting sex. I consider the more profound truth is that many people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this blog, I also was only capable to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Lobbville Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes nearest Lobbville. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I suppose I am one of the fortunate ones, but I think it is a combo of my character, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a issue frankly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Lobbville Manitoba cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Lobbville Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The authors of the pot of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes near Lobbville. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer men have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!