Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap prostitutes near Austin, Manitoba. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I got a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really important. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to handle much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely serve to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Austin Manitoba, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Atik Manitoba. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, after which you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with way too much cleavage. Austin Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's totally excellent - I have no issue at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised primarily of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not appear impolite, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Austin, Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (generally 35-50) I often go past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes near Austin Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of online sites: you are only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful business, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Aweme Manitoba. Simply to check I wrote to rather mature women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Tried all sorts of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not respond. Just do not understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger guys approaching old women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Austin Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them really say what they provide a man. Generally, it is a list of demands and preferences. This really is not good marketing. A woman should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man that he needs?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we mature guys, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, many do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely men can often behave the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that most people merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular site, I also was only capable to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Austin Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes near Austin. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I suppose I am one of the blessed ones, but I think that it's a combo of my personality, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a issue frankly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Austin, Manitoba cheap prostitutes. I really don't know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to dwell together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Austin Manitoba Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is completely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular declaration) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes near Austin. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!