Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap prostitutes closest to Kingsgate, British Columbia. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge criticism among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to deal with way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) merely function to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes closest to Kingsgate British Columbia, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do believe it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Kingcome Inlet British Columbia. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Kingsgate Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's completely great - I have no trouble at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamour shots and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included chiefly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Way too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not appear rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Kingsgate British Columbia cheap prostitutes. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a number of those men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes nearest Kingsgate, Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of on-line websites: you are simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Kinnaird British Columbia. Just to check I wrote to fairly mature women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every girl. Tried all sorts of graphics. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not respond. Just don't realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's merely that all the younger men approaching mature women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Kingsgate, British Columbia cheap prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them really state what they provide a man. Usually, it's a list of demands and preferences. This isn't good marketing. A female must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical cash grab, I have to inform you we older guys, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to establish boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can often act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is that many people merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular site, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Kingsgate British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes near Kingsgate. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I suppose I'm one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my personality, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a difficulty frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Kingsgate, British Columbia Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Kingsgate, British Columbia cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near Kingsgate. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such issue, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!