Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap Prostitutes near Viewpoint, Alberta. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must manage far too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just function to fortify them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes nearest Viewpoint Alberta Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Victor Alberta. The thing is, there really is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Viewpoint cheap prostitutes. Now, that is absolutely wonderful - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I'm certain many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be pleasant and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Viewpoint, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a few of those guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes near me Viewpoint, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line websites: you are only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Viking Alberta. Simply to check I wrote to rather mature women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every girl. Attempted all sorts of graphics. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Simply do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's only that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Viewpoint Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly none of them really state what they provide a man. Normally, it is a listing of demands and choices. This really is not great advertising. A female should have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he desires?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we mature guys, like some mature women bring the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often act exactly the same manner, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that many people merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this site, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Viewpoint, Alberta cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes nearby Viewpoint. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I guess I'm one of the blessed ones, but I believe it is a combo of my personality, a sort of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a difficulty honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Viewpoint, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I do not know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Viewpoint, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) men in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to believe his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap Prostitutes near me Viewpoint. Note how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!