Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Cheap prostitutes near Seebe Alberta. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous gripe among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I have a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to cope with way too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just function to fortify them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes near Seebe Alberta Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Sedgewick Alberta. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with far too much cleavage. Seebe cheap prostitutes. Now, that's certainly fine - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mainly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a website for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be nice and not appear impolite, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Seebe Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (normally 35-50) I frequently move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes in Seebe, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online sites: you're simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Sentinel Alberta. Just to check I wrote to rather elderly women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Tried all types of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they do not answer. Just don't comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's merely that all the younger men approaching old women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They simply show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Seebe Alberta cheap prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them actually state what they offer a man. Usually, it's a listing of demands and preferences. This isn't great advertising. A lady must be able to answer the question What do I offer a man he needs?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I have to tell you we older guys, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, many do not bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from inferior matches they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can frequently behave exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that many folks simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this website, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Seebe, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes closest to Seebe. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I believe it is a combo of my personality, a kind of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm quite in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Seebe, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I really don't know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Seebe Alberta cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of the pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes nearby Seebe. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!