Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes near Nugent, Alberta. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to cope with far too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just serve to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Cheap prostitutes closest to Nugent Alberta Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Noyes Crossing Alberta. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Nugent Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is totally fine - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of grievances about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be nice and not seem rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Nugent Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys desire, (typically 35-50) I regularly go past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap Prostitutes in Nugent Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line sites: you're only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful company, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no real dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Obed Alberta. Just to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all kinds of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they don't respond. Just do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's only that all the younger men approaching old women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only show interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Nugent Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. But there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually say what they provide a guy. Typically, it's a list of demands and choices. This isn't great advertising. A female must have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he needs?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is all about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we elderly guys, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, lots of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a female from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can often behave exactly the same style, merely wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that most folks simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this site, I also was only able to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Nugent Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Nugent. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I imagine I'm one of the blessed ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a problem honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Nugent, Alberta cheap prostitutes. I actually don't know....Am fine with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Nugent Alberta cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this particular site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap prostitutes nearby Nugent. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!