Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Cheap Prostitutes nearby Empress Alberta. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous criticism among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I got a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really significant. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to deal with far too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only function to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes in Empress Alberta, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Embarras Portage Alberta. The thing is, there actually isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a good man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with way too much cleavage. Empress Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that's certainly great - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour pictures and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mostly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I am certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be fine and not appear impolite, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Empress, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (typically 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of these guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Cheap prostitutes in Empress, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online sites: you're simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Enchant Alberta. Merely to check I wrote to rather mature women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Attempted all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they don't respond. Simply do not recognize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly man and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching elderly women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Empress, Alberta cheap prostitutes. However there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost not one of them actually state what they offer a guy. Typically, it's a list of demands and choices. This isn't good marketing. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is all about a cynical cash grab, I need to tell you we older guys, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can collect much about a lady from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that most folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was just capable to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Empress, Alberta cheap prostitutes. Cheap Prostitutes in Empress. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the fortunate ones, but I think that it's a combo of my personality, a kind of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a problem honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Empress, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Empress Alberta cheap prostitutes.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) men in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Cheap prostitutes near Empress. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!