Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Cheap Prostitutes in Atlee, Alberta. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet pictures, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already must deal with far too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Cheap Prostitutes in Atlee Alberta, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to guys also, of course). Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Atikameg Alberta. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Atlee Cheap Prostitutes. Now, that is totally wonderful - I have no trouble at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mostly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I am sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Far too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be fine and not seem rude, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Atlee Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (generally 35-50) I regularly go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a few of those men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still don't get much of a reply. Cheap Prostitutes in Atlee, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online sites: you're merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful firm, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Cheap Prostitutes Near Me Atmore Alberta. Just to check I wrote to quite elderly women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Attempted all kinds of images. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't answer. Simply do not realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is just that all the younger men approaching mature women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Atlee, Alberta Cheap Prostitutes. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them really say what they provide a guy. Typically, itis a record of demands and preferences. This really is not good marketing. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we older men, like some old women attract the opposite sex. Sadly, many people don't bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can often act exactly the same manner, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that most folks simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular site, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Atlee, Alberta cheap prostitutes. Cheap prostitutes near me Atlee. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I imagine I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I think it's a combo of my style, a form of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Atlee Alberta cheap prostitutes. I do not know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Atlee, Alberta cheap prostitutes.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) men in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation devised theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Cheap Prostitutes closest to Atlee. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!