Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts closest to Tisdale, Saskatchewan. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to manage way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just function to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Backpage Escorts nearby Tisdale Saskatchewan Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Timber Bay Saskatchewan. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Tisdale backpage escorts. Now, that is totally great - I have no problem at all with this, and I am certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Much too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be fine and not seem rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his connections to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Tisdale, Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of these men, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. Backpage Escorts near me Tisdale Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college love or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of online websites: you're merely defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am really busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Titanic Saskatchewan. Simply to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all sorts of images. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they don't respond. Just don't recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an older man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's just that all the younger men approaching mature women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Tisdale, Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. However there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them really state what they provide a man. Typically, it's a list of demands and choices. This isn't great advertising. A female should be able to answer the question What do I offer a man he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we elderly men, like some mature women attract the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a guy can gather much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to set boundaries; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will comprehend that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely men can frequently behave the same style, just wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that many folks simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular website, I also was only able to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Tisdale Saskatchewan backpage escorts. Backpage escorts closest to Tisdale. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I imagine I am one of the lucky ones, but I believe it is a combo of my character, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a problem frankly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Tisdale Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I do not know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Tisdale, Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) guys in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts nearby Tisdale. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!