Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts in Rosetown Saskatchewan. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous gripe among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet pictures, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet pictures, I got a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to handle way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) just function to augment them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photographs because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Backpage Escorts nearby Rosetown Saskatchewan Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Rosenort Saskatchewan. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting pictures with way too much cleavage. Rosetown Backpage Escorts. Now, that's absolutely wonderful - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor pictures and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Rosetown, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. I've detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys desire, (generally 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Backpage Escorts nearest Rosetown Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the builtin folly of on-line sites: you're merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful business, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm really busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Rosthern Saskatchewan. Simply to check I wrote to fairly old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they do not respond. Just do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an elderly guy and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It is just that all the younger guys approaching senior women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Rosetown, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them really state what they offer a guy. Normally, it is a listing of demands and choices. This isn't good advertising. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he wants?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it is all about a cynical money grab, I must inform you we older guys, like some elderly women bring the opposite sex. Regrettably, many people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will realize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often act exactly the same way, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that most people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular website, I also was only capable to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Rosetown Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts near Rosetown. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I imagine I'm one of the lucky ones, but I believe it is a combo of my personality, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty honestly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Relationship after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Rosetown, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. I actually don't know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Rosetown Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation invented theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts in Rosetown. Note how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!