Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Backpage Escorts in Nipawin, Saskatchewan. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photographs, I got a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to handle way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only serve to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America notifying me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts nearest Nipawin Saskatchewan, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Nies Beach Saskatchewan. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Nipawin Backpage Escorts. Now, that's certainly fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of criticisms about men - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a site for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Much too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be fine and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Nipawin Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (normally 35-50) I regularly move past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Backpage Escorts near me Nipawin Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college love or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built-in folly of on-line sites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look young for 48, run my own successful business, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Nobleville Saskatchewan. Merely to check I wrote to rather older women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they don't answer. Just don't comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is only that all the younger men approaching older women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They simply show interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Nipawin Saskatchewan backpage escorts. However there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them really state what they offer a man. Typically, it's a record of demands and preferences. This is not good advertising. A female must be able to answer the question What do I offer a man that he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is all about a cynical cash grab, I need to inform you we older guys, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a man can gather much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to establish boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently behave the same style, just wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that most folks merely blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this website, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Nipawin, Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts near Nipawin. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I imagine I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it is a combo of my personality, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a problem frankly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Nipawin, Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I really don't know....Am fine with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together at some point in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Nipawin Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The authors of this kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to believe his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage escorts nearby Nipawin. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!