Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts near me Lloydminster, Saskatchewan. This list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They're looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photographs, I have a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already need to cope with far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just serve to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photographs because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts in Lloydminster Saskatchewan, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Lizard Lake Saskatchewan. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a good man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with way too much cleavage. Lloydminster backpage escorts. Now, that's absolutely wonderful - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I am sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamor shots and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be fine and not seem ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Lloydminster Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (usually 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of those men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage Escorts closest to Lloydminster, Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online websites: you're merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful company, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no actual dates. I decided women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Lockwood Saskatchewan. Merely to check I wrote to fairly old women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Attempted all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women look interested but they do not answer. Just do not understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is just that all the younger men approaching old women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They just show interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Lloydminster Saskatchewan backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them really say what they offer a man. Generally, it is a list of demands and choices. This isn't great advertising. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man he needs?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it is about a cynical cash grab, I need to inform you we mature men, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, many people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from inferior matches they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more considerate mature woman will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can often behave the same manner, only wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that many people only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was just capable to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Lloydminster, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. Backpage escorts near me Lloydminster. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I guess I am one of the lucky ones, but I think it is a combo of my character, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Lloydminster, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. I don't know....Am okay with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Lloydminster, Saskatchewan backpage escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is completely mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) men in my age group. The writers of this kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Backpage Escorts nearest Lloydminster. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!